There are no words to describe the feelings and thoughts after a divorce. I've been there once, and almost twice. Women may cope differently, but at the end of the day, it brings about loss, not so much financially but emotionally and mentally. You know you need to move on but you don't know where to begin. You just want to move forward, but your whole system wants to rest. Yet, resting would mean dealing with some emotional trauma that you are not ready to deal with.
Some women like myself were the ones who called the divorce. I was just done. I had no more strength left in me to continue in a relationship like that. I embraced the divorce; I wanted it. I moved on and buried myself in the busyness of my career, so as not to deal with anything from my past. Sad to say, you can't run away from your past. Either you deal with it soon enough or wait for it to return. This is the case with me. I did't realize that I brought it with me to my second marriage, which almost led to another divorce.
Other women were left by their husbands for 'another woman'. This, I believe, is even more painful than what I've been through, although my divorce from my ex was also due to a string of adulterous relationships.
A woman came to me once not knowing where to start. She lived in her RV with her two children, and her husband was living comfortably with his new girlfriend, now wife. The worst thing was that the new woman was somebody she knew and introduced to her ex husband. How do you begin from there? Where do you start picking up the pieces? Do you even pick up the broken pieces?
Although our past will always follow us until we deal with them, we also can't get stuck to our past. Dealing with the pain a day at a time is the only way any woman can overcome the pain brought about by divorce.
As important as dealing with the pain is having a clearer direction as to where you should go. This will be your goal that will keep you going. Don't just bury yourself in the busyness of your job or career, which is what I did. Find something you want to do not only on a personal level but on a professional level.
Do you have a dream job you've always wanted to have but never had? Do you have a business idea that you've always wanted to do? Have you dreamed of being a leader in church or your community?
I want you to remember something, and please keep this close to your heart.
You were created to fulfill a purpose greater than your being a wife. That part of your life, whether it will happen again or not is simply an avenue to fulfill your purpose. That assignment is done, but your purpose remains.
Find your next assignment, this time in your professional life. This will give more meaning to your personal life and will add greater value for you, as a person.
If you have any questions or want to know more about this topic, feel free to get in touch with me. Click the link below for my contact information.